A Fistful of Frisky with Amazon Goddess Saranna DeWylde

 Bar Brawls with Babes in Bras

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Saranna DeWylde, self-proclaimed Amazon Goddess, is in the house today. Okay, not in the house, at the Blahg, whatever *pthhhthb*.

A slave to her muse and social creature by nature—not to mention a former corrections officer—Saranna started writing horror stories at the ripe old age of eight, then moved into the Happily Ever After genre (yes, capitals included). Being a woman who managed to capture her very own Prince Charming, she is living proof that HEA really does exist.

Saranna's debut novel How to Lose a Demon in 10 Days will hit shelves November 2010 from Dorchester Publishing.

Alright, boys and girls. Grab your caramel apples—be sure to offer one to the wonder woman of curves… (No, no, not me! I meant Saranna!)—and enjoy a little foul mouthed banter between yours truly and the Amazon Goddess of Doom.

Hi, Saranna, and welcome to my Blahg.

First off, I’m curious. What’s with the title, “Amazon Goddess” and “Amazon Goddess of Doom”? And, oh mighty mistress, how does one become a minion? Er…that is, if you have minions…

Saranna: Of course I have minions. I have an ass thug army. You've been granted the title of Commander of the Western Legions, should you choose to accept it. *g* In actuality, there's not much involved. My minions have an embarrassing amount of free will.

Awesome! Just so you know, I’m also Commander in chief of the Assorted Cookie Army (or ACA), and we are hatching secret plans against a certain someone’s army of gnomes. I hope I get to play fun games like that in my CWL role in ass thugdom!

But enough foreplay, what about the title?

Saranna: The Amazon Goddess moniker came about after I was told I was a scary chick, that I was a bit too much for most men to handle, like an Amazon. I was used to the cracks about my height, I'm 6ft even. But I decided to own it. I'm outgoing, loud, kind of obnoxious and I make my own rules. Very goddess-y, in my opinion. It stuck.

I’d have to say that make your own rule thing is one of my favorite Saranna features. That rolls over into your writing too, I’ve noticed. I know you write primarily Happily Ever After stories. However, I’ve read a few of your darker stories that didn’t allow certain characters quite such a happy ending.

Is there a special set of Saranna criteria that dictates which characters get HEA and which just get…well…uh…just get got?

Saranna: I don't decide what they get. The characters tell me their stories and I choose whether to write them down or not. If something is particularly horrible to me, I won't write it down. I believe that you give ideas and essences a kind of life and immortality when you write about them.

I think that’s a smart move. Some things are best left in limbo. But, new stories are born every day, and no matter how bad things may get there are bound to be bright spots, both in stories and in life.

One bright spot in your life is the fact that you are one of the lucky few who found your fairy tale relationship. But, even fairy tale relationships have their ups and downs, I'm sure. I’ve heard many people say they love their other half, but s/he just doesn’t understand the nature of the writing beast. How about you?

Does being a full-time writer ever cause problems in the relationship you have with your Prince Charming?

Saranna: It's hard for a non-writer to understand what a harsh mistress our muses can be. It took me a long time to realize that it's okay if they don't. In fact, I'd never survive married to another writer. I'm a little bit selfish and I expect to be indulged when I need to write. No, Jonathan doesn't always understand, but he always supports me. He works two jobs so I can write full time and be with the kids, he's sensitive to when I need to write and helps out around the house when I'm on a deadline. Further, he puts out for inspiration. *wink* 

Ooh, I’m sure I speak for all women when I say a little bonus inspiration is always welcome. Mwahahaha! But it wasn’t always easy, right?

Can you share a little about what you two have gone through, what you have learned through time, and how you guys cope now?

Saranna: There was a time when my writing was a source of contention, but it was more of a case of miscommunication than anything. A story I would share, but it would take pages and pages. So, to sum up, we're both more considerate of the other's needs and our relationship is bright with his shining armor. He's my rock and my very own romance novel anti-hero. Reformed rakes really do make the very best husbands. 

*grin* So the trick with relationships is the same as in writing: Using the right words and phrases to get the point across in a way that captures the audience. *wink*

Having such a wonderful partner has given you the time you need to capture the Saranna Magic in words, such as your story being released through Dorchester Publishing.

How to Lose a Demon in 10 days will be out in November, but you are also working on other “10 day” stories. Did this series start out as a plan, or did your muse just tell you how it was going to be?

Saranna: Oh, she pretty much just kicked me in the taco and told me how it was going to be. The first book started out as a short smutty bit that I had considered deleting. The whole series was a complete surprise.

Wow. Your muse has salsa! No wonder she goes for the taco…

Can you tell us a little more about these stories? Perhaps share a little snippet?

Saranna: Here's an excerpt from How To Lose A Demon in 10 Days:

Caspian was technically a Crown Prince of Hell. Technically. And technically, he was royally fucked. Or was about to be.

How did he get himself into these things?

He felt the pull and Caspian knew there was no use in fighting it. The Big Boss had seen to that. It would just make it harder. Caspian gave a dramatic sigh and followed the call up into the mortal world.

Which he hated.

He materialized in the middle of a chalk-like circle, drawn with finely ground bone.

Correction, not ground up. It was old. It smelled like rot. It had turned to dust on its own. What was this happy crappy? Another weekend warrior? How come they always got the freaks? No one sensible ever tried to summon a demon.

Perhaps that should have been his first clue when he’d been considering careers…

She wasn’t bad to look at though, aside from the sneer on her face. In fact, she was almost a bit scary. This thrilled him. On the other hoof, she didn’t look at all impressed at his entrance. And Caspian was a showman.

“Why hast thou summoned me?” he began in a large, thunderous voice that rattled the windows and made various books and knick-knacks fall off of the shelves.

“I hope you know you’re cleaning that up.” The voluptuous woman put her fist on her hip and tossed her long, dark hair over her shoulder.

“What?” Caspian would have clapped a hand over his mouth had she not been staring at him so intently with those large, chocolate eyes. Who was she to tell him that he was going to do anything of the sort?

Chocolate eyes? Where the hell had that come from? Did he care what her eyes looked like? No.

“I know you don’t have to bellow like that. It’s not cute. I am not impressed.”

“Look, lady. You summoned me. You take what you get.”

Ooh, nice excerpt! Come November, I expect my copy to be signed! Yes, that DOES mean I plan on buying one. Mwahahaha!

But what if I don’t want to wait? Is there anywhere we can find other Saranna DeWylde stories we can enjoy right now?

Saranna: You can actually read the first few chapters of HTLD at How To Lose A Demon in 10 Days.

Did you see that guys? Another sampling. Go on. Go read it. We can wait.

*Cue theme music from Jaws*
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*Heather taps foot impatiently, then looks at watch*
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*Cue Jeopardy theme music*

Ah, there you are! Good, wasn’t it? Wonder what else is in store from the Amazon Goddess? I know, let’s ask her!

So, Saranna, how about future projects? Is there anything else in the works, or any other random Saranna tidbits you’d like to share with the world?

Saranna: I'm always working on something. I have a few more 10 Days novels in the works, a YA and horror novel. I'm lucky that my muse chooses to speak to me loudly and often. 

Your luck is your readers good fortune. I can’t wait to see what else you have to share with us in the future!

Thanks again, Saranna, for taking time to sneak away from your muse to indulge my curiosity. Ooh, looks like Mistress Muse has the whip out. You better get back to writing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I now open the floor to you. However, be warned. If Saranna sees the words “conversate” or “anyways” or any combination of the two, you will not only be promptly ignored, but swiftly throttled and hung from the rafters as a lesson to others.

For more information on Saranna, you can find her at these places:

Saranna's Website.
Livejournal Love. 

Tweet her up on Twitter.

 Friend her on Facebook.

Become a MySpace minion!

   Now...

Who has questions?